What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Do you think a lot of sociopaths' parents kill themselves for having brought such disgusting evil into the world? How much shame and disgust must they carry?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Are Latter-day Saints watch the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? And if so, what do you think?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What was it like being spanked as a kid?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

TEXT:

Have you ever accidentally found out that you were about to be fired?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.